Sex and the Married Shrew?

Well, well, well. Preacher Ed's "Seven Days of Sex" challenge certainly had its intended effect: a shower of publicity. He did a whirlwind media tour on the national television circuit last week. Google "Ed Young and Seven Days of Sex" and you'll get close to 500,000 hits. I watched his sermon this Sunday (online, not in the flesh) so you don't have to.
With a few plugs for his books sprinkled liberally into the mix, his message was basically this: wives, put out, and put out now. At first, I thought the preacher's promotional slogan "Leaving Lust Vegas" had to be a misnomer. He wants every married person to have sex, after all, so why leave lust out of the equation when embarking on this marathon sex tour? It didn't make any sense. But after watching his sermon today, I've connected the dots.
His premise is simple, really. If wives would just have sex with their husbands more often -- whenever the husbands want it, actually -- men would be spared the lust that consumes them and their resultant sin. Put another way, if a man sins by having lust in his heart, the wife is, in large part, the responsible party. Gee. I wonder how Rosalyn Carter would feel about this indictment.
Not only is a man's sinful lust the fault of his wife, Preacher Ed suggested, he said also that "when you fulfill your spouse's desire, it's a part of your discipleship." And "your body is your spouse's body" and "every time you have sex you are fulfilling God's purpose." Moreover, when you turn your husband down for sex, you are "rejecting the totality of who he is, his mind, his body . . . "
Lord have mercy! Holy shittola. Sexual rejection is now nearly akin to husbandicide? If you say no to sex, you are thwarting God's purpose and depriving your husband of his own rightful "body." So strap on your seatbelt and prepare for a bumpy ride, as you accompany your sinning husband straight to hell. Because you, dear girl, are the cause of his tribulations. You are responsible for his lust-generated sins.
Mrs. Carter, could we have a comment please? And Hillary, what say ye? Tea Leoni, we heart you. We're sorry about David's repeated philanderings. But Tea, really it's your own fault. David must not have been getting what he needed at home.
Preacher Ed also touched on what to do when the husband and wife are out of synch, when they're not simultaneously "in the mood." Too damn bad, was essentially Preacher Ed's retort. "Just do it. Just do it. Just do it," he cried, fists clenched. Wives, be unselfish, he passionately implored. To support his marathon sexcapade, he ticked off a few statistics: in one survey of married fathers, Preacher Ed reported that 70% want more sex. 60% admitted they regularly view pornography. And 50% said their wives rejected their sexual advances at least once a week. Well . . . knock me over with a feather.
Why, pray tell, are all these withholding wives forsaking God? Hell's bells!
Aw, shucks. Let's be honest. We all know why. It's not because these wives are bad Christians or bad "disciples" seeking to thwart "God's purpose." No, for many, it might be sheer physical exhaustion, a special needs kid, a lump in the breast, or a looming bankruptcy. But for others? Could it be . . . just maybe, possibly, even just a tiny bit . . . this? I'm just sayin' . . .

(Happy Hour Sue posted this video Friday on her excellent blog: http://happymealsandhappyhour.blogspot.com)

Labels: Married