0 comment Saturday, August 30, 2014 | admin
In the aptly named town of Loveland, a Colorado high school teacher and her student paramour were found naked, engaged in an act of intimacy in the back seat of the woman's car. It is not known whether the bottle of vodka found nearby was a factor in the pairing. Said the police officer who discovered the pair, "I told both subjects I could see they were naked and they needed to get dressed and talk to me."
The teacher's position at the school is "instructional coach." Her job is to advise colleagues on how to avoid affairs with students and maintain a "professional distance."
Well, at least she can say she's experienced in such matters.
On the subject of irony, a Dallas police officer was arrested for embezzling reward money from the Crime Stoppers unit. Accused Senior Corporal Theadora Ross was responsible for reviewing anonymous tips and determining which tippers were entitled to reward money. In her estimation, she was, well, the most entitled. To the tune of $250,000.00, over a five-year period, no less.
Photo: David Woo/Staff Photographer (Dallas Morning News)The safe, secure method for paying the tipsters, designed by our ever-efficient local government, was indeed fool-proof. Officer Ross, an intellectual giant, would give the anonymous tipper (often gal pal Malva Delley) a secret number and code word, and she'd simply go to the bank, provide the code word and number, and walk off with a wad of cash.
Alas, the jig was up when the fool Ross gave Delley and another tipster the same secret code. Delley beat the legitimate tipster to the bank, leaving the second tipster high and dry. Hence, the outcry.
Finally, we turn to national news and the protests in Egypt. Relax, people. Relax. All the protesters want is democracy and . . . the Muslim Brotherhood wants a seat at the Egyptian government's table. What could go wrong? Even socialists support the ouster of Mubarak.
Photo: AP (protest in San Francisco)So fear not, fair maidens. Don't be a Juan Williams wussy. The Muslim Brotherhood has not, and never will be, an incubator for terrorists. Hamas? What Hamas? The Brotherhood is not, I repeat, not "extremist." And the protesters love Israel. Love, love, love it.
Happy Monday.
Labels: Courtney Bowles, Crime Stoppers, Irony, Israel, Mubarak, Muslim Brotherhood, Protests In Egypt, Teacher Has Sex With Student, Theadora Ross
0 comment Saturday, June 14, 2014 | admin
Earlier tonight, I watched the news. Of course, it's all Egypt, all the time. Never mind that the IMF is calling to replace the dollar as the world's reserve currency.
Anyway, the news anchor soberly declared that the ouster of Mubarak was epochal. Which of course it is. But it is "eh'-puh-cull, not "eh-POKE'-ull," which made his error almost epical.
My mom used to say, "If you can't say something correctly, say nothing at all." Forget nice.
Those who mispronounce are usually the same people who utter absurdities like, "I have white wine and red. Would you like the former or the latter?" Rush Limbaugh is one, I suspect. On his radio show the other day, he said someone's political skills were "con-sue'-mitt." I almost had a wreck.
And then there is a subset of consummate latterers: people who have no idea what is even meant by the phrase. Which would be perfectly fine and lovely, except when they guess. "Oh, the latter," say the wistful, would-be sophisticates.
These people typically favor padded toilet seats, and they'll offer you a "beverage" while you're standing in their kitchen. In your kitchen, they will ask you for directions to the "restroom." I point them to the bedroom at the top of the stairs.
It appears Robert Gibbs, Obama's outgoing press secretary, is part of the padded-seat, beverage set. How otherwise explain his statement that Egypt's new government "has to include a whole host of important non-secular actors"? Separation of church and state for me, but not big E?
Let's hope Gibbs simply doesn't know the difference between secular and not, or was just terribly confused. Because the difference for Egypt, indeed for the world, will be . . . well, epochal.
Labels: Beverage, Egypt, Epochal, Hamas, Israel, Mubarak, Muslim Brotherhood, Muslims, Padded Toilet Seat, Restrooms, Robert Gibbs, Rush Limbaugh