The Beginning of the End?
0 comment Tuesday, July 15, 2014 |
Today, Obama said the "stimulus" package he signed into law marks "the beginning of the end."
It's hard to argue against such an ambiguous statement. Does he mean the beginning of the end of the downturn? The beginning of the end of bank bailouts? Or the beginning of the end of our economy? Of us?
The stock market sure loved the blasted stimulus bill: the DOW dropped nearly 300 hundred points today, down to about 7500. Whoopee.
If America were a punching bag, its stuffing would be falling out. Every day brings more bad news. The news is so bad and so unremitting, we're desensitized to it. GM wants 30 billion MORE? Yawn.
We're told impoverished workers across the globe are rioting, and threatening to topple fledgling democracies. 43 states are operating in the red; California is bankrupt. Okay, news people. Enough already. Things suck. We get it.
But here's a heartwarming story for you. Per the ABC evening news, Pepsi has agreed to donate a dental van to a pediatric dentist in the Appalachian mountains.
Seems the kids in those parts drink gallons of Mountain Dew, parents even put it in their toddlers' sippee cups. One little fellow had twelve cavities in his baby teeth.
Wow, Pepsi! What a difference a van makes. Now the mountain kids can get their cavities filled and keep on drinking Mountain Dew. This kind of magnanimous corporate charity makes me cry.
Say, Pepsi, can you bring in a liver specialist too, you know, since there's all that high fructose corn syrup in your drinks? These kids' livers are probably already cirrhotic.
Perhaps I'm in a cynical funk because I'm still pecking out blog posts on my miniscule blackberry. But truth be told, it's high time we admit that we need more bread and circuses.
Between now and next Monday I won't be able to sleep, wondering whether the bachelor picks Mary Ann or the Dallas cheerleader. Mary Ann gets my vote.
Thinking about the economy, the trillions of dollars our government is printing, worrying about the inflationary depression we'll surely go through in a few years? It's all just too depressing.
Things have gotten so bad in fact that instant qualification for a massive mortgage is considered an enticing shopping reward.
Last night Albertson's grocery store ran an ad for its new Monopoly shopping game. One of the prizes up for grabs? A $500,000 mortgage.
Yippee! I can win a half-million dollar loan. More debt! Yes! Friends, I've got to run, got some shopping to do at Albertson's.

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